If you asked me 6 months ago if I felt immortal, I would have said, “Of course not!” In fact, I’ve always considered myself someone who tries to never take any moment for granted. I have lost some very important people in my life and I have learned through these experiences that life is not a guarantee, and every single day matters. If you’re not happy – find a way to get happy. Just don’t waste time doing it, because time itself is our most precious possession. In fact, please read my about page on my older business website (I’ve since merged businesses with David and we created David and Blonnie | photo + cinema) and you’ll see exactly how I feel.
That being said, when I look back on it, I think maybe in a way I did feel a little tiny bit immortal. Not immortal in that I thought I’d never ever die… not that extreme. But I definitely thought… Unless there’s some tragic accident, I’m going to die when I’m really old. Because almost everyone in my family dies when they are really old with few exceptions.
I have always been very healthy. I have no allergies… I have an occasional cold and very rarely a flu, but other than that I can’t say I’ve ever had any big (or even little) health issues to complain about.
And then this happened.
In April (maybe March – I can’t remember precisely) I started to notice that my left breast was getting a little bigger than my right. They were always the same size before, but I started to notice that when I took my bra off, the left seemed a bit swollen comparably. I just thought… hmmm… strange. Then in May I noticed my nipple starting to change and pull in a little bit. I didn’t feel any specific lumps, but my breasts have always been a little lumpy so when I began to worry, I started to analyze every little thing and read a lot of stuff online that scared the hell out of me. After reading a little more about breast cancer, I felt around and noticed a lump in my armpit area, which I realized could be an enlarged lymph node from cancer spreading (turns out, it was.)
I went for my first appointment in late May to my normal OBGYN and told her about my concerns. She also didn’t feel anything specific, other than the fact that my left breast seemed a little more dense than the right. She scheduled me for a mammogram and ultrasound. They did see some benign cysts but no specific tumors that they could pinpoint. They saw irregular microcalcifications in one area, and the lymph node I mentioned appeared irregular. A biopsy was scheduled for Thursday (the day after my birthday) and by Monday I learned it was positive for breast cancer. Thus began my journey of being poked, prodded, scanned, radioactivated… and hey! I even got to see my whole skeleton which was pretty much the coolest part of this whole thing (I still need to ask for that photo, because it may just be the best photo ever taken of me.)
And here I am – 35 years old now (but I had this cancer inside of me at only 34) with breast cancer. As far as breast cancer risk factors – I have no family history. I’ve never smoked cigarettes. I only took hormonal birth control for a few years (many years ago) and I breastfed my daughter for 2 1/2 years (breastfeeding is supposed to lower the risk).
We are often bombarded with messages telling us that having breast cancer is something mostly older women need to worry about and that breast cancer in young women is “rare”. Because of this, I didn’t think I had anything to worry about. Maybe if I had… I would have gone in a little earlier to have my concerns checked out. Don’t be like me. If you notice something that concerns you… JUST GO.
I wanted to understand just how “rare” is rare. Here are a few shocking statistics I’ve learned since being diagnosed:
• In 2011 (I couldn’t find a more recent number) the American Cancer Society estimated that 13,110 cases of breast cancer will be diagnosed in women under age 40.
• Breast cancer is the most common cancer in the U.S. in women ages 15 to 39.
• Women ages 15 to 34 die more frequently from breast cancer than any other cancer.
• There is currently no effective breast cancer screening tool for women 40 and younger.
• Young women are more likely to have aggressive subtypes of breast cancer including triple negative, and HER2+ disease, larger tumor sizes and higher incidence of lymph node involvement.
• By 2030, the number of breast cancer cases in the United States will be 50% higher than the number in 2011, according to new research from the National Cancer Institute.
I’m writing my story and these very particular statistics, so that if someone else like me is in a similar situation they will take it very seriously – maybe a little earlier than I did. At this point, I’m not sure what stage I’m considered. There are still more tests to take for that determination. All I know is that I’m HER2+ and have an aggressive form of cancer that needs to be treated right away. I really do wish I had gone to the doctor earlier. Maybe even just a month earlier when I first noticed something. BUT I planned to die an old lady. Even that NYC palm reader in 1998 told me I’d live at least until my 80s. I gave her $5 for that assessment so she better be right or that charlatan owes me 5 bucks.
Update: We found out that it is Stage 4 and upon diagnosis had already spread to my liver. At 34 years old I already had metastasized breast cancer.
